Last Second Christmas Gifts?

rob zombie coffee

Well who wouldn’t want some Rob Zombie coffee in their stocking this year? Seriously, though, Rob Zombie? Metal musician and horror movie maven that he is, I don’t know what he’s done to make me think that he would discover and roast the best coffees. A guide to finding and roasting vampires, demons and orges, that I’d understand. Anyway, if you want some HellBilly coffee, it retails for $13.99 a pound.

nespresso George Clooney

Or maybe the person you’re shopping for prefers their celebrity coffee to be more of the smooth, suave type. Well then there’s the old standby of the Nespresso promoted by Mr. Fox himself, George Clooney. Not to argue whether the quality of the coffee measures up to Mr. Clooney’s work I’d be hard pressed to place it alongside Up in the Air, Michael Clayton or the Fantastic Mr. Fox, but surely it’s better than Batman and Robin. Anyway, the quality right now isn’t really the point. What brings up the Nespresso machine and its pods is this blog post where the author analyzes the weight of the preground coffee in each nespresso pod and determines that by using them the consumer is actually paying approximately $66 per pound for coffee! Zounds!

Though this my favorite part of the post:

What I can’t understand is how these [marketing] geniuses were so dumb as to market a machine that uses tap water.  How hard could it be to design a sealed aluminum non-refillable $15 water pod, filled with one of several different gourmet waters matched to the coffee blends (the coffee pods come in about twenty different color-coded blends), like, say, Milano da rubinettoPioggia pura romana da mattina, Nestlé’s own Poland Spring (in 3 elastic modulus grades) already in pods, Amazona prima colheita do verão, Flaque Boulevard St. Germain, Fiji-Dasani custom coffee blend (also approved for Mercedes engine cooling systems), Gelbschnee fondé puro (Nestlé’s local house brand), and so on.  People who will pay five to ten times extra for stale coffee grounds will certainly pay through the nose for water with a name on it.

Of course, your could skip the above and just give the coffee professional on your list what they want most for Christmas, a subscription to Barista Magazine!

About the Author

Ken

Kenneth R. Olson is co-founder and publisher of Barista Magazine the worldwide trade magazine for the professional coffee community. He has written extensively about specialty coffee, traveled near and far for stories, activities, and fun, and been invited to present on topics important to coffee culture. He is also an avid fan of the Portland Trail Blazers and the Washington Huskies. Go Blazers! Go Dawgs!